You may remember our story from a while back about our neighbor Nellie, the nurse - feisty, active, opinionated. We refer to her as the neighborhood OG (original gangstah) because she has lived in our neighborhood for 70+ years. (NOTE: If we are ever with you in person, ask us about the story of Nellie and the machete.) For a couple months now, Nellie and her 35 year old son, Hugo, have been coming over to our house at least once a week to share a meal. We have talked about a lot around our little table. Politics, Culture, Religion, Nellie's New Age worldview and her belief that all of nature is god, Hugo's atheistic leanings and his belief that science is supreme, the natural world, the supernatural world, aliens, ghosts, family brokenness, death and of course, the Good News of Jesus Christ. The Duran family table has become a place of natural fellowship where we share connection, brokenness and blessing. We have come to understand slowing down around a table of fellowship as one of the most important and maybe one of the most neglected spiritual disciplines, especially in today's hyperspeed-paced world. As Dr. Barry Jones says, "I’m convinced that our dinner tables have the potential to be the most “missional” places in all of our lives. Perhaps before we invite people to Jesus or invite them to church, we should invite them to dinner." At our table we have had serious conversations, we have laughed, cried, prayed and bared our souls. Through it all, we turn our eyes and hearts towards the Good News of Jesus to find peace, hope, solace and joy overflowing. Nellie has heard the Gospel, she eventually asked to come to church with us. She knows we pray for her, and whether she realizes it or not, the Holy Spirit is working on her heart and drawing her in to Himself. Please, pray with us to this end. So... Who will you invite today to share your table?
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In November, we had a very good friend come and visit us. Tami Swymeler from our missions agency, World Partners. She brought with her (I think) everything you could find for the holidays from Meijer. We were definitely spoiled by her. We were able to have an American Thanksgiving because of her. Thanks Tami! You are awesome and we had such a great time with you! I hope you can come back soon. We also had a wonderful time spending the day with my wonderful, Argentine friend Micaela. I'm so glad these two friends of mine from different parts of the world could meet. It was such a sweet time of friendship, laughter, and talking about faith in Jesus. Please pray that God would reveal himself to Micaela and her family whom we love very much. ❤️We This morning I was reading in Hebrews 11. I am sure most of you know this chapter, entitled "the Hall of Faith." It is such an encouraging chapter to read. You read all these men and women who have gone before us in the Faith and God counted them righteous, because each of them were people that pleased God. I mean if it wasn't for Abraham where would our faith be? As I am reading I just feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for these men and women in the faith. They chose to follow Him, despite everything else, they listened. I get to the last two verses in Hebrews 11 and it says, "All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us." What? All these men and women that God himself counted righteous didn't receive what God promised them. "All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth." (verse 13) I don't know about you, but when I get to that last verse I feel like I just got punched in the gut. I mean we are filled with gratitude for these men and women in the faith, you are cheering them on in your heart, thanking them for their obedience and dedication to Christ and then BAM...none of them even received the promise that God had for them. What fills me with even more admiration is that these faithful people of the Lord continued on in the faith with unwavering dedication to Him knowing that from the distance they could see the promise, but none of them fully held that promise from God close enough to run with it. As I was reading and thinking about this these last two verses, one little, but very significant word hit me, the word: all. "none of them received all that God had promised." They did receive in part some of the promises God had for them, but not all. Why? Because the next verse, verse 40 says, "For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us." Us? Who is this "us" mentioned twice in this verse? It turns out that this "us" is US, you and me. Wow! These men and women in the faith couldn't reach this perfection without me and you. We are a part of this story. We are Abrahams inheritance. We have an opportunity/calling to help build the Kingdom of God by telling those about the name of Jesus. They didn't reach that perfection because not all of God's children are home yet. We are all nomads and foreigners here on earth. This is not where we belong. We belong at home with our Creator and all the men and women who have gone before us in this Faith. I'm sure if you are reading this, that you know that my family and I moved to Buenos Aires, Argentina just over two weeks ago. We just started. We are fresh in this missions thing. But, I can't help but think, "would we still continue to live here, till the soil, plant and water the seeds even if we never get to reap the harvest?" What if like the people of faith that have gone before us, we also didn't see the promises God had for us? My question is for you: "Would you still pursue that super hard endeavor that God has called you to only to find out that in the end you wouldn't see all that you had hoped or had been promised?" "Is He worth it to you?" I love God. I love Him. I am here in Argentina, because I heard Him speak to my heart 8 years ago in India. I heard Him. It was a still small voice in my spirit. I would be a little disappointed if I never saw a harvest, I'm not going to lie. I think we all would want to see some results of our tilling. This passage hit me hard this past week: John 18:3-9. "The leading priests and Pharisees had give Judas a contingent of Roman soldiers and Temple guards to accompany him. Now with blazing torches, lanterns and weapons, they arrived at the olive grove. Jesus fully realized all that was going to happen to him, so he stepped forward to meet them. "Who are you looking for?' he asked. "Jesus the Nazarene," they replied. "I AM he," Jesus said. As Jesus said "I AM he," they drew back and fell to the ground! Once more he asked them, "Who are you looking for?" And again they replied, "Jesus the Nazarene." "I told you that I AM he," Jesus said "And since I am the one you want, let these others go." He did this to fill his own statement: "I did not lose a single one of those you have given me." 600 Roman soldiers fell to the ground with one statement: "I AM he." 600 men, fell because of the authority Jesus had. I am here in Argentina and even if I never see any fruit from our tilling I know without a shadow of doubt that God, the "I AM" who spoke creation in to existence is worth it. He is worth it. He is always worth it. This is all about Him. The name of Jesus. He is the hero of this story, not us. "Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading." Hasta Luego, Christina As I sit and remember this past year, 2018, I am reminded of a verse that got me through some of this year - Isaiah 43. "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." On one hand, this year has been a bit tough, on the other, it has been wonderful. One thing is for sure, God is faithful. He is ever-present. He provides. He sees. He cares. He restores. He redeems. He comforts. He loves unconditionally. I have learned more about these qualities of my God than ever before. As I look forward, I see new adventures, blessings, challenges, trials and transition awaiting us in 2019. This next year is a big year for our Duran family. This is the year we (finally) move to Argentina. This is a transition that has been a long time coming. It is something for which we have been praying, preparing and seeking God for 3 years now. A season of newness is coming, ready or not? "Are you ready?" (A question I often get asked). To sum up my feelings on this weighty question, I would like to answer it with an excerpt I found on a blog site named "Velvet Ashes" by Sarah Hilkemann: "If I'm being honest, this fear has clung tightly to me, like hands firmly gripping my shoulders throughout the years, steering one way or the other to guide decisions and even keep me from trying at all. Far too often I let fear win. I shrink back from trying something new or let my mine be captured by anxious thoughts." I could not relate more to her struggles with fear and anxiety. These two predators have followed me around for far too long. As Sarah said, they have kept me from trying a lot of things and have kept me from pursuing things that I know I love to do. Fear, anxiety and doubt have gripped my heart and mind for years. They have stopped me from pursuing and ultimately allowing me to be my full self. 2019 is the year where we take the plunge into that cold and unknown water, sink or swim. We know and believe that God has called us to this task and that He will be right there no matter where life takes us. Even though this "yes" to God isn't easy and comes with a high sacrifice it's a "yes" we have to say - I have to say! I can't be scared of the "what ifs" of life anymore. They have only proven to keep me from pursuing the very things God has placed in my path. In 2019, I say "yes" to God and the adventure to Argentina with my family that He has planned for us. I expect this year will have its challenges with language learning, raising a toddler in another country, adopting a new way of life, new eating habits, new culture, new faces, new friends, but it will also bear a fruitfulness directly from the Father. "You can be scared, and that's ok. but don't let that fear take ahold of you. Do it anyways, even if you are scared - DO IT SCARED!" And remember that the same God who declares in Isaiah 43 that He will be with you no matter what situation you are in, will be there! You will not drown and you will not be burned up. The LORD your GOD the HOLY ONE of Israel, your SAVIOR says so. Trust Him. "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." with Love, Christina
As I reflect on this past year, I can't help but feel a bit emotional. 2016 brought us so many wonderful memories, the best being the birth of Marco, and to tell you the truth, in a way, I'm not quite ready for this year to be over. I'm not quite ready to let go. This is the year I became a mom, and like a typical new parent, I had little idea what lay ahead. The whirlwind of emotions from pregnancy to birth is unreal. I could tell you all about my birthing experience, but I will spare you the raw details and suffice to sum it up in 2 words, TRAUMATIC and REWARDING. The experience really taught me to embrace the unexpected and rely on His strength. This has been the most amazing, most challenging year of my life. My journey into motherhood, filled with sleepless nights, sicknesses, major sacrifices, transitions (both good and bad), and countless blessings, has taught me a number of things: 1. Life is messy. Embrace it. 2. Learn to live on as little sleep as possible. 3. Cherish each little moment. 4. Hold them just a little longer. As we transition into a new year, I am feeling a bit anxious to be honest. 2017 will bring big changes including: raising a growing little boy, moving overseas, saying goodbye to family and friends, depending on God in new ways, living in community and redirecting down a completely new career path. That said, I believe 100% in what we are doing, and as for any fears or doubts, I trust in my Heavenly Father to help me lay them all to rest. This next year, 2017, is going to be a year for me to live fearlessly. I will be confident in my God and in myself. I will be confident as a wife and as a mother. I will be confident in transition, no matter how easy or difficult. The Lord is stretching me. He has called me. I am ready to go. I know He will ask me to step into new roles outside of my comfort zone, and if I ever feel inadequate, He will show me I am enough. Wishing you all a wonderful new year and enjoy 2017!
You are responsible for you, only you!
You have a choice in everything you do. Happiness is a choice. Anger is a choice. Forgiveness is a choice. You have a choice. The Lord has been empowering me with these simple, but yet powerful teachings. "you can only be responsible for yourself and your own functioning." This season has been definitely a new season for us (&me): new emotions, new experiences, new stresses, new teachings...BUT despite the new changes I (always) have a choice in the circumstances that surround me. I need to CHOOSE to be in-control of my emotions. I am realizing that emotions are good and they are bad. Emotions don't rule over me, I rule over them! I have a choice! I always have a choice! Instead of reacting I need to respond. I have been given the mind of Christ! I have the privilege of renewing my mind like Christ -daily!! Renewing actually means to "Restore/Replenish" We have the ability to Restore our negative thoughts to be nurturing positive emotions// Those toxic thoughts could be: Unforgiveness Stress Negative self-talk Thoughts determine your Life. Thoughts determine your Action. Thoughts determine your Character. "Negative thinking" --> love dims down and fear comes out. We are wired for the positive attributes: Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness Goodness Faithfulness Gentleness Self-Control We have the mind of Christ! We can choose what we will say, act and do daily! We have a choice. Will you choose to live a life of happiness and positivity or will you choose a life of depression and negativity? Everything is a choice. You choose! Ephesians 4:23-24 "Instead, let the Spirit RENEW your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your NEW NATURE, created to be LIKE God -truly righteous and holy." Let us renew our mind. Make it a daily choice! God is testing me in this area. I am choosing this and I hope you do to. It will completely transform your thinking and attitudes. Grander earth has quaked before Moved by the sound of His voice Seas that are shaken and stirred Can be calmed and broken for my regard Through it all, through it all My eyes are on You Through it all, through it all It is well Through it all, through it all My eyes are on You It is well with me Far be it from me to not believe Even when my eyes can't see And this mountain that's in front of me Will be thrown into the midst of the sea Through it all, through it all My eyes are on You Through it all, through it all It is well So let go my soul and trust in Him The waves and wind still know His name It is well with my soul It is well with my soul It is well with my soul It is well with my soul It is well it is well with my soul Through it all, through it all My eyes are on You Lord Through it all, through it all It is well with me. What exactly is shame? Well... 1. Everyone has it. It is a universal emotion to every human alive. 2. Everyone is afraid to talk about it. 3. The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives. "Shame is// I'm not worthy or good enough for love, belonging, or connection." It is also an intense painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." Shame is losing a job. Shame is failing at school. Shame is infertility. Shame is pornography. Shame is not having enough money to get by. Shame is a DUI. Shame is bankruptcy. The list can go on and on... We all experience shame. It is in-avoidable, because we all mess up. So then what is the difference between guilt and shame? GUILT= I did something bad. SHAME= I am bad. What can we do to be "shame resilient?" (returning to the original form of healthiness) The best answer I have heard in my teachings here is to just be VULNERABLE. Exposing the source of the shame brings the problem to light, where healing happens. I have had and continue to have a real experience here at YWAM Belize. Being here has brought so much freedom and light to the areas of my life that were in the darkness. The first step I quickly realized while being here is to be HUMAN! I know that sounds silly but it is so true!! WE are NOT robots we are HUMAN. We experience life. We experience emotion. We experience messiness. We experience guilt. We experience sin. We experience shame. To be Human is such a marvelous thing, you know why? Because we get to be REAL AND HONESTwith one another! When we mess up we tell people, when we are struggling we speak up. So what would it look like it if a church members stood up and said: "Lately I have been struggling with______?" (alcohol, medication, greediness, pornography, jealousy, etc.) What if someone stood up and said that? Would we be closer as a body of people because we realize and see that someone out there struggles with the same thing...Wouldn't that bring FREEDOM? "So don't make judgments about anyone ahead of time--before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due." 1 Corinthians 4:5 We are all human. Humans are not perfect. He doesn't call us to be perfect He just calls us walk in a manner worthy of our calling. Going to church every Sunday, but continuing to live in sin is NOT FREEDOM! It is not the life that Jesus called us to live. He called us to live a life WORTHY of our calling. He calls us to put down the excessive alcohol, the vulgar magazines, the gossip, the money and step out and be FREE, FREE in Christ! "Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." Ephesians 4:1-2 Personally, I have been struggling with shame. I have always heard the word shame used to describe an emotion, but I never knew this word could carry so much weight and make such an impact on someone. It truly cripples us from what we need to be able to do in life. Why do we carry around the weight of shame? We carry it around like a 20 ton shield that we use in defense against being vulnerable with one another. So what is the solution? The solution is transparency and vulnerability with one another. "Issues of the heart can only be solved in the light." But such vulnerability cannot be met by judgementalism. Extend Grace, we all need it. This journey and process of hope isn't easy, but having people support us along the way helps the journey expand into Freedom! I pray that this touches someones life today. I know it has completely revolutionized my thinking and living life! With love, Christina ❤ |
Christina Duran“There is freedom waiting for you, Archives
December 2019
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