Ever the inspired wife, Christina decided we will be embracing a lifestyle of healthier eating. I can't decide whether or not to be excited for the change or chew off my own tongue a la Sons-of-Anarchy. All I can picture is a dinner plate full of tree bark, grass and lice-infested hay. Mmm! Get in my belly! The first step was the most emotional for me. I watched, simultaneously horrified and heartbroken as she cleaned house of my Oreos, Ice cream, Cap'n Crunch and other sugary delicacies that seemed to reach out to me for help before being thrown into the endless pit by Christina who insisted on yelling "This is Sparta!" over and over and over. The mayhem suddenly shifted to super slow motion and I caught a glimpse of an Oreo plummeting to his fiery grave. In that moment, I swear I saw that Oreo shed a tear. After the smoke cleared and the dust settled, I may or may not have fished him from the rubbish bin to give him the death he deserved (in my mouth) and a proper burial (within my pudgeness). Now, I've only seen a grown man weep once in my life and it's not a pretty sight, believe you me! The drool-inducing blubbering and full-body seizing are not reminiscent of a GQ gentleman. For the first time in my life, I was grateful I didn't live in a house of mirrors, because the the sight of myself would have scarred me for life and sent me on the first short bus straight to the loony bin. And yet, on that fateful day, on the kitchen floor of my own home, I went fetal, curled into a tight little ball, and with thumb in mouth... I wept. Alas, today is a new day and the fat-faced food-fretting of yesterday seems trivial at best. I've learned along the way that those things we so quickly sink teeth and claw into are oftentimes the same things that are most damaging to us whether we realize it at the time or not. Sins, vices, addictions, habits and even pursuits we've convinced ourselves are noble can distract us from our true purpose and calling. We've got to learn to continually ask ourselves, "Is ( insert X here) the thing God would have for me in this moment?" I'm not suggesting we get religious about what we do every waking second, I'm suggesting we get real. Spiritually real, and spiritually aware. More real than our other pursuits and definitely more real than Facebook and social media. More real than consumerism, media or bad habits, and more real than this dumb ol' blog. Let go of the Oreo. One Oreo probably won't kill me, unless taken intravenously. Disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! That is NOT what the term "sugar-high" actually means. However, one Oreo is to my pudgeness as one lie, one insult, one vain pursuit, is to my spirit. Oreos aren't the fuel of marathons, and vain pursuits aren't the fuel of spiritual marathons. For now, Hasta la vista Oreos. See you, and my shrinking pudgeness in another life! P.S. Oh no! Just found this. This may cause us a little setback... 18 flavors of Oreo you ever knew existed
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My wife has a habit of prodding me with deep life questions that my preoccupied brain routinely comprehends at a glacial pace. One time, she got so annoyed with my distracted and insincere "mhmmmm's" that she abruptly stood up, her 5'2 frame towering over me. She glared into my surprise eyes and passionately and emphatically declared., "Know thyself!" Befuddled by her curious choice of words, her and my facial expressions morphed from frustration and surprise, respectively to amusement. Then, unable to contain ourselves, we simultaneously busted a gut. Though hilarious in the moment, the phrase "Know thyself" actually expresses a profound idea. It's a powerful and revealing thing to be in touch with one's inner being, to understand the pulls and tendencies to our fleshly nature, our souls and our spirits. Only then can we know where our motives are based and weigh whether or not they are pure and right. Introspection can take us deep into the mysterious wells of self, leading us to revelation and knowledge, but to what end? Knowing oneself is priceless but cant be the end all in and of itself. Knowledge of my own self reveals such limitations and weakness in need of refining by a source that could only come from outside myself. I need a Truth defined by a great Being with a greater plan. I can't look within to find meaning, purpose, community, or a sense of mission in the world. I must look to faith. I must look to Christ. After all, a drowning person can't reach out to himself to save himself from being unable to save himself. Its good to have a wife who cares enough to not let up when my big dumb head is big and dumb. So here's your golden nugget, know thyself... but go a step beyond, know HIM. What makes a hero?
Is it bravery? And what is bravery? Is it courage? And what is courage? Is it self-sacrifice? Leadership? Drive? Determination? Wisdom? Honor? What is a hero made of? What do his thoughts look like? And, more importantly, what does his heart look like? Is it strong? How strong? Is it relentless in its pursuit of truth and justice? Does it falter? Does it fail? Does it get back up again? I don't need to be THE hero, but I need to be capable of being heroic. To whom do I turn? Lord, help me... Ah, the ocean. A truly awesome sight.
Even as I gaze from afar and marvel at its wonder, I can't help but be drawn nearer. And the closer I get, the larger it becomes, the shoreline stretching farther and farther down the line of my peripherals. Something in the distance jumps out of the dark blue water and disappears. I'll never know what it was. I remove my flip-flops. They drag too much in the sand. They're worn down in so many places that one more day of use might result in the skin on the soles of my heals rubbing against coarse pavement instead of cushioned rubber. Ouch. But they got me here. Right? I take 2... 3... 4 steps across the hot, soft sand of the deserted beach. I stop. Man, it's big from here... I look down and the water laps at my feet just inches away, as though trying to reach for me and pull me gently in. I take my first step into the cool, refreshing water. Perfect. It's shallow here. I wade out deeper and deeper and realize that I just wanna dive right in! So I do. Wow, the water is amazing. I resurface and look out over the vast expanse of water. Today, ever since I first seeing the ocean, I had felt strange, like something was missing. And that's when the realization hits me. I have an unmistakable, undeniable, passionate urge to dive headlong into the water and just swim! Deeper and deeper... Farther and farther out to sea... With an extreme, reckless abandon! I can't deny the urge any longer. The more I experience the ocean, the more I want to lose myself in it. I want to discover all its mysteries and become one with this impossibly huge, never-ending, beautiful enigma. So I lose myself. And the further out I go... The deeper down I go... The more intertwined I become with the ocean, to the point that it is impossible to tell where it ends and I begin. I love it, and it embraces me, never letting go. This is all I'll ever need. > > > > > > > This is intimacy with Christ. He is the beautifully-enticing ocean that draws us further and further in the more we experience intimacy with him. We delve deep into the Holy Mysteries. And life becomes more than just a brush with the Divine. Life is engulfed by the Divine. We are engulfed by Him. Life is intimate with the Divine. We are intimate with Him. This is all we'll ever need Shhh. dont tell, but 'm going to change Christina's peaceful morning alarm ringtone to Lloyd Christmas' most annoying sound in the world. Why? I dunno, maybe I'm slightly masochistic, especially given that she is a until-I've-had-my-coffee-I-WILL-rip-off-your-face type of person. I'll take my chances and hopefully mutually-appreciated hilarity will ensue. If not, my will is signed and sitting on my desk at home. On another note, today's the day we officially package up & send out our prayer card & support letter! If you don't know yet, we're working our crusty bunions off with the goal of leaving for missions training in Belize this July! WE. ARE. SO. PUMPED! We will be going with an organization called YWAM (pronounced why-wam) to first complete, then lead a Discipleship Training School DTS. What is YWAM? I'm glad you asked! YWAM - Youth With A Mission is... "An inter-denominational, non-profit Christian, missionary organization. Founded by Loren Cunningham in 1960, YWAM's stated purpose is to "know God and to make Him known". -Wikipedia! Click the picture below for the "What is YWAM?" video! Hope you enjoyed the video!
For more specific/personalized info, check out the prayer card and support letter posted below! Thanks to those of you who read and support this blog. It's meant to be a way for you to get a sneak peek into our hearts and lives as we swim through life alongside each other. We wouldn't be here without YOUR support... without YOUR prayers. God is working radically in our hearts and minds and I'm convinced He will soon guide us into the ministry calling on our lives. Stay classy, amigos. And stay tuned for future episodes, coming soon to a blog near you! From Betroit, West Compton, this is your host Nate Duran, signing off. Sausages, take your marks. Get set. GO! So, I'm sitting in my now-cluttered home office surrounded by a mess of paperwork, half-packed boxes and a fat, female retriever with the gender-ambiguous name of Charlee. (Though, unlike Chaz, Charlee seems secure in her femininity, at least as far as I can tell.) Here in the land of the cheese, and home of the b-b-beer-guzzling Packer fans, it is a frosty 11 degrees Fahrenheit, and my thoughts couldn't be further from the 12+ inch snow-blanket engulfing my cars and home like a giant, rampaging Godzill-Amoeba. (If you're reading this and you're in the film industry: Make. This. Movie.) So where are my thoughts? My thoughts are on moving, support-raising and the fact that I've already used 7 hyphenated words on this ADHD-fueled blog. Eight. More importantly, with Five Iron Frenzy's Every New Day playing in the background, my thoughts are on new beginnings, a new dawn, the birth of a legacy, a calling, a commission. My God and King has called my awesome wife, Christina, and I away from the provisions and securities of yesteryear, into the unknown. He has called us to lay down a good job, a budding career, a 401k and full coverage insurance. He has called us to bid (a very fond) farewell to family, friends and coworkers. He has called us to sell the home we filled with memories and worked so hard to build, and to leave the country we've grown up in. Hella-crazy? Absolutely. But what an honor! He has called us to His feet to give us a commission, the Great Commission. Here I am, send me. While the idea of overseas missions may seem romantic at first: travel, new places, new people, new culture, the reality is that it's all about sacrifice and service. God, help me. Let's hope he uses Christina, my Proverbs 31 wife, to teach me a thing or twelve! For now though, I'll take comfort in the fact that our first stop is somewhere warm. "A land where the sun flows like wine and -retired expats- instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Belize!" (For original quote click here. ) Belize: sandy beaches, warm water, palm trees, vibrant reefs. Real rough, right? Well, that's the side of Belize we're used to hearing about, the places mostly along the touristy coast that are featured on the Travel Channel and Trip Advisor. However,the reality behind the mask is this: corruption, drug trade, poverty, crime. Belize needs help. Belize needs Jesus. And for our part, we'll do all we can towards this end. I've never been to Belize, but I can't wait to experience it, to do life alongside the local people and bring a hefty dose of Jesus into the mix! Expect great things. I know we are. Alas, here we are in the Grand Ol' Badger state. For now, we'll dream of warmth and sand, our sure calling and a new beginning, and I'll shamelessly try to convince myself, that "the cold never bothered me anyway." This is the beginning of our great adventure. Only He can make every new day seem so new. Peace, Love & Coconuts, Nate Duran |
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